How Social Media Allows Scorned Women to Get Revenge in an Instant
Without a doubt, it is easier to focus the agonizing pain of a husband’s betrayal on the other woman. He is your life partner while she is easy to villainize stranger. The internet allows us to instantly express our hurt and anger to a sympathetic audience. The question is, does this instant revenge actually bring peace to a betrayed lover?
The woman known as Ariella Alexander, founder of ShesAHomewrecker.com, would have us believe that outing the other woman is liberating. She and her many internet followers feel that exposing a cheating husband’s mistress is a form of justice. Her controversial stance is discussed in this ABC news story.
As righteous as this type of ranting might seem, data shows that it intensifies, rather than gets rid of, anger. Like all difficult emotions, working through heartache is just plain hard. Writing can help if it is focused on exploring and understanding your feelings instead of just expressing raw emotion. More often than not, internet discussions are merely a series of reactive statements. Writing and reading angry outpourings makes us refocus on our anger and prevents us from moving on.
In her September 12, 2015, article in Psychology Today, Karyn Hall found that revenge was not so sweet after all. Fantasizing about revenge has been shown to stimulate pleasure centers in the brain. This might explain why revenge can seem so sweet. No such connection was found in the actual act of revenge. People that carried out revenge were shown to be less happy than those who did not act on their revenge impulse.
To further compound the problem of airing your husband’s infidelity on the internet, chances are that the marriage compromised by cheating will not end. A British study of over one million people found that only 15% of divorces were the result of cheating. Rebuilding trust after an affair is hard enough without the scorn and hatred of thousands of strangers ringing in your ears.
Just as our ancestors had to come to grips with the power and danger of fire, we must understand the power and danger of social media. The temptation of instant revenge should be measured against the wisdom of your own heart.